Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Roasting Marshmallow
As the fire started up i started jumping up and down.
Me my brother to and mum get to have homemade hamburgers but the was 8:00 pm before we got cook the marshmallows.
" mm yum" i said my first marshmallow was delicious it was gooy on ythe inside and on the outside it was golden.

By Toby

7 comments:

  1. hi toby i liked how you used some dialouge in your writing

    next time mabye use some verbs james

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  2. i liked the way you discribed the marshmallow

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  4. I like how you described the marshmallow as goey and golden

    lewis$

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  5. I like the way you said you started jumping up and down.
    Try next time try and use more adjectives

    $ams

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  6. The way you said the marshmallow was gooey really captured my attention!!!

    NO wishes!!!!!

    from Megan

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